Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Schtick It.

When I was younger, I wrote a hell of a lot of complaint letters to various companies. Mainly because I had far too much time on my hands and I was a pedantic little thing, but also because I felt this innate desire to express my opinion ALL.THE.TIME. My, how times change....*cough*

One time, I got a tiny piece of broken lolly stick in the top of an ice pop. I sent it off to the company, along with a strongly worded letter that went something along the lines of "I'm NEVER buying your ice-cream again, that could have gone through the roof of my mouth and I could have contracted a form of blood poisoning and died, all because I wasn't looking at what I was eating of your incompetence!" (not one to over-react, me). The company issued a letter of apology and a cheque for a couple of pounds - result!!

From then on, I was on a consumer rights warpath. Every time I saw something I wasn't happy with, I'd write a letter, and get a response and a cheque/vouchers in return. (I wasn't one of those precocious over-mature kids at ALL). Before you think that this is the answer to your recessionary dreams, let me just tell you, times have changed. You're lucky to get a reply now, never mind an apology.

Still, sometimes I still write a letter of complaint or send questions to companies if something bugs me, sure isn't that why they have Customer Service Departments? I can tell you, for instance, that the purpose of the little "1 heartbeat" heart on every HB ice-cream/pop/lolly wrapper can't be collected to redeem anything at the moment, but that they are considering a promotion in the future. See? Aren't you happier for knowing that?

Nothing has prompted me to send an enquiry (yeah, I like that word SO much better than complaint) in a long time, but THIS - this wrecks my head:

The commercial isn't online yet, not that I want to subject more of you to it, but for those of you who are now completely lost, this is in relation to the latest Domestos advert. At the very end of the ad, one of the creepy little cartoony slimeball characters says in a generic foreign accent "Domestos - stops germs from schticking." SCHTICKING? What the hell?! As a proud turf-rearing culchie, I'm well used to the tendencies of us countryfolk to add the letter 'h' into as many words as possible (as in "watHer", "crisHps", etc), but I can't fathom why it's being used here. It annoys me every single time I see it, and I'm going to buy Parozone in rebellion. Schtick that in yer pipe, Unilever.

Speaking of Parozone, here's their lovely not-at-all-Atomic-Bomb-like representation of how far toilet germs travel:


S xx


  1. I only saw this ad for the first time last night and I could not stop laughing at the fact that he actually says 'schticking' and they let the ad go to air without re recording that bit. Madness.

  2. In typical Sod's Law fashion, I haven't seen it since I wrote this post!! I nearly wet myself the first time I heard it, I thought I'd misheard!! Makes NO sense?!!


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