Thursday, November 10, 2011

Internet Amusements

It's common knowledge that I go through bouts of manic internet addiction, followed by bouts of wandering around barefoot, clad in linen, carrying a notepad and pencil, shouting "keep the evil technology away from me! Ground yourself! Appreciate Mother Earth!" - okay, not really. But close enough. Usually, a bout of pencil-wielding is followed by a phase of "look at as many websites as is humanly possible within 24 hours". This is what happened this week. Right now I've about 22 tabs open and I fully intend to read every single one of them, having already absorbed the shite-fest that is the Daily Mail, the always-awesome The Gloss, and dipping my toe in over at Jezebel.

What the hell was I supposed to be talking about? Oh yeah. Random stuff on the Internet that either made me laugh or amused me in some way or whatever. I'm tired. Here you are:

This Tweet:


Such a simple idea, but it genuinely made me burst out laughing. Cheers, fake Joey. For the record, if you don't follow Courtney Stodden on twitter, I highly recommend it. I alluringly recommend it luxuriously while sensually typing frantically before my succulent HOT coffee goes cold. ;-x

My, How You've Grown
Have you heard the new Nero tune that samples the old 1985 Jets' song "Crush on You"? It's not much cop, but it did remind me of the 1997 Aaron Carter cover version. For those of you who are fortunate enough not to remember his cover, here it is:


Shudder. Younger brother of Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, Aaron seemed to vanish off the face of the earth for a few years - but recent pictures of him have resurfaced. It's amazing how looking at one photograph can make you feel old. Here's one of the recent pics: 

How is it that I am so old and yet I cannot buy wine without producing photographic evidence of my oldness? It's a crazy, crazy world.

Is Watching a Dog Peeing Ever Funny?
Yes. Watch this.


Oscar, you're awesome.

Lollipop, Lollipop, Oh Lolly-Lollipop
I got a text from my friend earlier in the week that read "OMG, did you see that lollipop thing on Facebook? It's so scary!!" Now, I have a facebook (I just called it "a facebook" - told you I was old) - but I don't really use it in the same way that I'd use twitter. I described facebook last night as somewhere I go to talk to people that I don't really want to phone. This is true. I do not like talking on the phone, call me weird if you want, but I prefer texting/e-mailing/rambling on whatever site. So, no, I hadn't seen 'the lollipop thing'. I actually presumed she was talking about the LOLLIPOX (links to the Daily Mail, apologies) thing, where some woman is flogging lollipops infected with chickenpox to parents so that their kids will get the pox young. As you do.

After consulting with the younger sister last night (after she stopped laughing at me), she "politely" informed me that I was wrong, and to look up "Take This Lollipop" on YouTube. Even though this is fake, it's scary! I didn't have the balls to do it with mine, I don't want to see that creepy dude with my picture on his dashboard! It just goes to show you the amount of information that's readily available for any decent hacker out there - have a look at this YouTube video, and then have a little think about how much you're putting out there for any weirdo to see.


Scary, isn't it? Fantastically well done, and it's bound to make everyone more aware of how much information is freely available to the world. Well done, creators.

No, No, No.
I'm sure you've all seen the Christmas 2011 ad from M&S by now, but if you haven't, here it is.


No Peter Kay, no Dannii Minogue, no Twiggy, no hair curlers, no big dance routine - just a load of Xfactor contestants standing round singing. Not impressed, Marks & Sparks. Not impressed at all. I've re-written this next sentence several times to avoid coming across as either a chav or a snob, but no matter what way I write it, it boils down to the same thing, so here goes, I'll give it to you straight: Is this not a bit cheap for Marks & Spencer? Only two things are certain after watching this ad: 1. I can't wait for the Coca-Cola one; and 2. It's a travesty if Misha B doesn't win the godforsaken mish-mash joke of a show.

Spotted anything interesting floating round t'interwebs lately? Let me know in the comments.

S xx

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